


Can't Help Falling In Love

by olgushka



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:58:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olgushka/pseuds/olgushka
Summary: There are rumours that Josh wants to leave the band. Tyler deals with the news on his own terms.





	

They were in the middle of the European tour when it happened and now Josh’s patience was wearing thin. Everything got to the point where he began to wonder what would be the easiest way to murder Tyler and who would be nice enough to help him hide the body.

„I don’t freaking care!” His thoughts were interrupted by shouts in the hallway. It was definitely Tyler’s voice. „I said I want Red Bull in my dressing room! I always put at least ten exclamation marks next to _Red Bull_ on the list. And there’s no freaking Red Bull!”

After getting up from the couch, Josh stuck his head out of the door and looked around. Normally he would be against the idea of being apart from his best friend but now he silently thanked people from the venue for giving them two separate dressing rooms. 

„What now?” He asked quietly when he noticed Mark, following Tyler without a word. Before he could enter the singer's dressing room, Tyler disappeared inside and slammed the door behind him.

The man let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Josh.

„They gave him Sprite instead of Red Bull and he doesn't want it." Mark said, stepping closer. "He had a row with the venue manager five minutes ago. Over freaking Red Bull! But then she said he can’t climb tonight. He was furious. He actually made her cry! Listen… Can you talk to him? He’s your best friend, talk some sence into him. I’ve had enough, I can’t deal with this guy anymore.”

„I've tried but-”

„Try again? Please. For the sake of this band. For the sake of _everyone_.”

 

Josh didn’t want to talk to Tyler. Every single time when he's tried to start a conversation, they've ended up arguing. He couldn’t understand why Tyler started to act like an asshole in the first place and what was the reason. One day he was his usual cheery self and the next he turned into a grumpy and snappy guy who was constantly looking for trouble, talking back or completely ignoring people.

It’s been over two weeks now and things weren’t getting better. If anything, they were getting worse. Tyler have made at least four people cry in the last two days. He made a scene during soundcheck because his bass cable was tangled. He threw a bottle of water at Josh out of frustration because he thought the drummer wasn’t listening to him. When it was a hotel night, he called the receptionist an idiot just because their rooms got mixed up. Now he was making a big fuss over Red Bull. Or rather the lack of it.

Taking a deep breath, Josh grabbed two cans of Red Bull from a small fridge. He knocked on Tyler’s dressing room door and walked in, not waiting for the permission to come in. His friend was sitting on the couch, holding a phone in his hand. He looked up at Josh after a few more seconds of scrolling through his Twitter dashboard.

„What do you want?”

„Nice to see you too.” Josh said, closing the door. He threw the cans of Red Bull on the bed next to Tyler „Here. There’s a vending machine downstairs. If you stopped acting like a massive dickhead for one minute and actually looked around, maybe yelling at people wouldn’t be necessary.”

„Are you here to insult me?”

„I’m here to remind you about the interview we’re doing in fifteen minutes.”

„My memory is not that bad. Thanks. You can leave now.” Tyler looked back down, focusing on his phone again. 

„Tyler…” Josh got closer and crouched down in front of his friend, putting his hands on Tyler’s knees. „I’ll ask one more time. What’s wrong?”

„There’s nothing wrong.” The singer quickly shut off his phone. 

„That’s a lie and we both know it. Whatever it is, you are my best friend and I really want to help you.”

Tyler’s eyes softened and for a moment Josh thought that he would finally open up. He started to rub Tyler thighs in a soothing motion but then the singer’s face changed again and before Josh could process what was happening, Tyler stood up, quickly shoving him to the floor, causing Josh to land on his bum with a thud. Tyler walked to the door and opened it, waiting for the drummer to get the hint.

„I’m fine. As I said: there’s nothing wrong. Now, please leave so I can prepare for the interview.”

 _That's it_ , Josh thought, feeling his blood boil. He got up and made his way to the door but instead of leaving, he slammed it shut, grabbed Tyler by the collar of his shirt and shoved him up against the wall.

„Listen, you _shit_!” Josh yelled, making Tyler wince. „I’m done with this... Stop being an asshole! What the heck is wrong with you? When have you decided to turn into this unbearable, cold-hearted bastard? You hurt people, Tyler! You make them cry! Since when hurting people satisfy you so much?” He asked. When Tyler didn’t respond, Josh grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him lightly. „Look at me, Ty.” 

Nothing happened. Tyler stood frozen against the wall, his eyes focused on his feet. Josh tried to think about the next best step. Should he leave him like this? Should he yell at him some more? When none of those options seemed good enough, he sighed and did the last reasonable thing: he hugged his friend. He wrapped his arms around him, giving him the warmest hug he could. He rested his chin on Tyler’s shoulder and began rubbing small circles on the singer's back.

„I’m here.” Josh said when Tyler tensed. „I’m here. I will always be here and you know you can always talk to me and whatever it is that's bugging you, I will try to help. And I will never judge you. Please Ty, drop the act and stop hiding behind the mask. It’s not you, it’s not Tyler Joseph I know. I want my best friend back. I miss you.” He kissed the side of Tyler’s head and let go of him. „I’m going downstairs. They’re probably already waiting for us.”

Without waiting for the answer, he left the dressing room. He felt helpless. There was something wrong with his bandmate and he couldn’t help him. 

He ignored Mark and went straight to the interviewer, offering his hand and introducing himself with a smile. 

 

Tyler was late. They waited for him a little bit longer but when the situation started to get too awkward and it was obvious that the singer won’t be there, Josh came up with the idea of telling the interviewer that his friend wasn’t feeling too well in the morning and maybe that’s why he was running late. When his phone dinged, he quickly took it out of his pocket and before he could think twice, he said: _Oh yeah, it’s from Tyler. He won’t be coming down, his stomach is bothering him again. He’s trying to get better before the show, you know. Sorry. It’s gonna be only me this time_. He just hoped that the interviewer didn’t see him blush. Because the text wasn’t from Tyler. It was from his mom. And he hated to lie.

The questions were boring, predictable and the interview took too long. Josh tried to give the best answers but ended up zoning out a few times thinking about Tyler. He knew that his friend’s mind was a dangerous place and there was a possibility that Tyler could do something stupid. 

Once everything was over, he quickly thanked the girl and rushed out of the room. He ran all the way to Tyler’s dressing room just to find it empty. Panic kept rising in his chest more and more when he looked for Tyler in different parts of the venue. He checked the bathrooms, dressing rooms, hallways and the stage. Tyler wasn’t there.

He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Tyler’s number. When his friend didn't pick up, he decided to call Mark.

„Yes, Joshua?” 

„Mark, I can’t find Tyler. He didn’t come for the interview. He’s not in his dressing room either.”

„Have you checked in the bathroom?”

„I've checked every freaking room in this place that wasn’t locked.”

„Calm down. Have you looked outside?”

„No. Not yet.”

„Then go and check the parking lot. And the tour bus. I’ll look around the backstage again. Let me know if you find him.”

 

Josh ended the call and made his way to the emergency exit. He opened the door and stuck his head outside. He really wasn’t in the mood for talking to the fans right now. But the area that led to the parking lot was clear and there was no one in sight. He made his way straight to the tour bus and got inside. When he was about to shout Tyler’s name, he heard the sound of a ukulele. He went to the small studio in the back of the bus but his friend wasn’t there. Confused, he backed off to the bunk area and heard the sound again. When Tyler started to sing, Josh realized that he was outside. Before he got off the bus, he quickly texted Mark: _Found him. Tour bus. I will try to make him talk_.

He walked around the vehicle and spotted Tyler sitting on the ground with his back pressed to the side of the tour bus. He was facing the setting sun but his eyes were closed. He didn’t need to look at his instrument, he was playing chords by heart, singing along to the music. Josh sat down next to him without a word. He knew that Tyler acknowledged his presence but the younger man didn’t speak or move. 

After a couple of minutes filled with nothing but the sound of the ukulele, Tyler shifted closer to Josh, put his tiny guitar aside and dropped his head on his best friend’s chest letting out a quiet, almost unnoticeable sob. Josh wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

„I’m here, Tyler. I’m here.” Josh said. „Let me in. Please. Let me in.”

„So when are you leaving?” Tyler asked in a tiny voice and it somehow sounded like _Tyler_. It sounded like Tyler-Tyler, not Asshole-Tyler.

„Leaving to where?” 

„Leaving the band.”

„What?”

„When are you leaving the band?” Tyler repeated, a bit louder this time. He sat upright again, not looking at Josh. „Will you at least wait until this tour is over?”

„Hold on. What are you talking about?” Josh frowned, confused. „I’m not leaving the band. Where did you get this idea from?”

„If you want, that’s okay. I will understand.”

„Tyler, I’m not-”

„I know this isn’t what you wanted. I know I’m holding you back. I know I’m not a good friend, I know-” Tyler was at the verge of hyperventilating. 

„Tyler, breathe.” Josh dropped to his knees in front of him, taking his face in his hands. „Breathe. I’m not leaving the band.”

„They said you were.”

„Who said that?”

„People...” Tyler’s voice cracked. „…on the Internet”.

„Since when do you believe in things people say on the Internet?”

Tyler hesitated but when he finally started to speak, he couldn’t stop. 

„I found this post on Tumblr, okay? Someone posted a _fucking_ essay and titled it: _Twenty one reasons why Twenty One Pilots won’t last another year_. They analyzed every single thing: our chemistry on stage, our body language on stage, the way you look at me off stage, the fact that you’re always on your phone and you don’t talk much during interviews and that you say it’s your anxiety but in fact it’s just a cover up for your desire to leave. The fact that you moved out to Los Angeles and that you constantly hang out with other people, other bands. They said that you will leave in the matter of days.” Tyler swallowed hard and started to play with his fingers. „It seemed so real. It still seems so real. I watched a few YouTube videos based on that theory and it was there, right before my eyes. And it sounded so true that when I look at you now, it really seems like you want to leave. And I was so furious at first but then I thought that I really wanted the best for you but then I got so angry again and… and-” 

„And you started to act like a complete dick to everyone and treated me like a piece of crap because you thought I was leaving?”

„I was upset and I didn’t know- I didn’t know what to do. Hurting people made it easier. I wanted to hurt you. I waited for you to snap, finally hurt me back, I waited for you to lose your shit because I thought- I was convinced that if we parted ways in a fight it would hurt less than if you came to me one day saying that you’re sorry and that you don’t want to be in the band anymore. But when you finally did… Back there in the dressing room? When you got angry? I wasn’t brave enough to keep arguing.”

„That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. This is literally the whole new level of stupidity.”

„I’m sorry.”

Josh ran his fingers through his pink hair.

„Why didn’t you come to the interview?”

„I took a look at the questions earlier, when she wasn’t in the room. I got scared. _Do you want to collaborate with anyone in the nearest future? Have you ever thought about creating a side project that has nothing to do with Twenty One Pilots_? I could hear you saying yes. I didn’t want to be there and listen to that.”

„Tyler, we’ve answered these questions countless of times before. Have you ever heard me saying something serious about it? Have you ever-”

„Halsey asked you to play drums on her new record. She asked you to go on tour with her!”

„But-”

„You said _YES_!” 

„And you decided to leave the room exactly when I said yes. But you didn’t hear me say other things. I told her: _sure, I will. You just have to wait until Tyler kicks me out of the band for real_. And then we joked a little bit more and everyone laughed because they knew I would never abandon you. You've never brought it up again so I thought you knew that I was joking. Did you really think I would just drop everything we're working on right now and lock myself in the studio with her and then go on tour with her for God knows how long?”

„I-”

„You really thought so, didn’t you?” Josh asked and the silence was the best answer. „Oh my God, Tyler… I can’t believe this. Give me your phone.”

„What?”

„Give me your phone.”

„Why?”

„Just… Give me your stupid phone and stop pissing me off.”

Tyler obeyed. 

„What are you doing?”

„I’m deleting everything that turned you into a jealous, vulnerable asshole.” He unlocked the screen. „First, Tumblr app. You’re not allowed on Tumblr anymore. If I see you scrolling through Twenty One Pilots tag again, I will flush your phone in the toilet.” Josh focused on clearing Tyler’s browsing history and every other evidence from his mobile. „Wait, what’s this? Is this… Did you seriously take the screenshot of that stupid post and save it on your phone?”

„Okay, that’s enough. Give it back.” Tyler reached for his iPhone.

„No.” Josh moved his hand out of Tyler’s reach. „I need to read this.” 

Tyler growled. He pulled his legs close to his chest and lowered his head. He closed his eyes. 

„Josh, please…”

 

When the drummer finished reading, he deleted all the screenshots from Tyler’s phone. He sighed, knowing it was now or never.

„Do you want to know the truth, Ty?” he asked quietly.

Tyler looked at Josh with a frown.

„The truth?”

„Will you hate me after I tell you the truth?”

„You’re leaving the band. You really _are_ leaving the band!”

„No.” Josh shook his head. „I’m just… Oh God, I'm so tired of pretending. Whoever wrote that Tumblr post... They were right. They were right that I’m always on my phone, they were right that I don’t look at you that often anymore. They were right that I don’t sit as close to you as I used to. But they were wrong about one thing: it’s not because I want to leave the band. They didn’t realize that the reason may be completely different.”

„Different how?”

„They didn’t realize that I do all those things because I’m in love with you.”

There. He said it. The cat’s out of the bag. He didn’t want Tyler to know but after reading all the things someone wrote, it was better if Tyler heard the truth straight from the source than believed in some crazy theories he found on the Internet.

Tyler gasped for a breath and his hands started to shake. For a moment none of them spoke and the silence was too much to bear. 

„Are you okay?” Josh dared to ask. „Tyler?”

„Josh, I-”

„Are you having a freak out?”

„No. Yes. I think so, yes.”

„Do you want me to leave you alone?”

„No. Just- Just let me… Process… What you said- I need this… to sink in.”

„Sure.” Josh sighed but after a few long quiet minutes he turned to Tyler again. „Ty?”

„Yes?”

„I still want to play in the band and I still want to be your best friend. Nothing changes, really. But if it makes you uncomfortable and you don’t want me around anymore, I will understand.” He stopped playing with Tyler’s phone and gave it back. Tyler took it slowly, almost dropping it to the ground when it slipped out of his shaky fingers. „Careful.” Josh helped him to get a solid grip on his mobile, covering Tyler’s hands with his own. He didn’t let go. Instead, he started explaining. „I avoid your gaze because you’re the most beautiful human being I’ve ever laid my eyes on and once I start staring, it’s hard for me to stop. I don’t sit close to you because touching you turns me into a love-struck teenage girl. It gives me a funny feeling in my stomach and it makes me fall in love with you even more. And I can’t allow myself to do that. I’m always on my phone because it distracts my thoughts and I don’t speak much because I love hearing your voice. And you always have something right to say, you always make sense. And I could listen to you for hours. I hang out with other people because being with you all the time makes me want to kiss you and I feel like I’m _this_ close to losing all my self-control.” He said and let go of Tyler’s hands. „I’m sorry, Ty. I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t plan to fall in love with you when I first joined the band... I just wanted to play music with you. Falling in love with you? It felt natural. It felt right. It kept slowly growing in me until I got to the point where I’m two hundred percent certain that I am indeed in love with you. And I haven’t felt this way with anyone”. Josh sighed and shook his head. „You don’t have to say anything. I just… I had to tell you. At first I didn’t want you to find out but now… It actually makes me feel better. Because now you know and I don’t have to hide anymore and I will accept every possible ending to that story, even if you end up kicking me out of the band for real.”

„Oh.” 

„Maybe Halsey will hire me as her drummer…” Josh said playfully. „Maybe I will go on tour with her.”

"Yeah." Tyler glared. „Over my dead body.”

They looked at each other and giggled. Before they could continue the conversation, they heard the sound of footsteps getting closer to the tour bus. 

„Guys? Josh? Tyler? Are you there?”

„We’re here!” Josh shouted and got up from the ground. 

Mark appeared in front of them and looked at them suspiciously.

„Everything okay?” He asked and they nodded. „Good. Would you please be so kind to get your asses back to the venue and prepare for the show since you have only forty five minutes left?” 

Tyler cursed under his breath, grabbed his ukulele and left without saying a word. Josh stared at his back until his silhouette disappeared behind the door.

„Are you sure you're okay?” Mark asked.

„I don’t know. We talked about… stuff.” Josh shrugged. „We explained some things to each other but we didn't come to any type of agreement yet. At least we broke the tension a little bit.”

„Alright. Now, go prepare. The crowd is crazy tonight.”

 

Not much has changed after that. Tyler kept avoiding Josh and they talked only if they really had to. At least they stopped arguing and Tyler stopped being rude and picking fights with everyone over nothing. The tour continued. They got a few days off and a few more hotel nights which was all they needed.

During one of their hotel nights somewhere in Germany, they were supposed to go out and get some drinks with the crew but Josh made a few lame excuses and called in a night. When he was lying in his bed, buried under the covers and scrolling through his social media, a knock on the door snapped him back into reality. He checked the time on the huge clock on the wall and raised his eyebrows when he noticed that it was almost midnight.

With a quiet scowl he got up and went to open the door. He didn’t expect to see his best friend who was standing there with his hands hidden in the pockets of his hoodie, biting his lip and awkwardly tapping his foot. 

„Tyler?”

„Can I… Can I come in?”

Josh took a few steps back and let him in.

„I thought you were out with the guys.”

„I wasn’t in the mood.” Tyler mumbled and stepped further into the room. He sat down on the bed and dropped his gaze to the floor. He started picking at the little threads in one of the holes of his jeans.

„What’s up?” 

„Can you sit down with me?”

Josh joined him on the bed, making sure he wasn’t sitting too close. 

„So… I was on Tumblr?” 

Tyler said, hesitantly.

„Tyler, for God’s sake, not again.” 

„No! Hear me out, please! Hear me out!” The younger started to panic.

„Okay, alright. So, you were on Tumblr.”

„Yeah.”

„And?”

„I found a post-”

„When am I leaving the band this time?”

„Will you shut up for a second?” Tyler snapped.

„Sorry. Go on.”

„So that post? It was like… the complete opposite of what I found the other day. They actually titled it: _Twenty one reasons why Twenty One Pilots is gonna last forever_.” Tyler smiled to himself. „And I think I cried a little bit while reading it? Because it was so beautifully written and there were pictures of us and every word seemed so honest. And then… You know when people reblog something and they can add comments and stuff? Someone left the link to another post titled: _Twenty one reasons why I think Joshler is real_. And I literally cringed at first because I thought it will be full of some ridiculous sex theories but… I clicked on the link.” Tyler blushed furiously. „And I was wrong. It wasn’t about sex, it was about… being in love with each other.” 

„Right?” Josh was confused. He still didn’t know where all of this was going.

„Josh. I think I had an epiphany.”

„Oh. Really?”

„Josh?”

„Yes?”

„I think I-” Tyler kneeled on the floor and positioned himself between his friend’s parted legs. Suddenly, he grabbed Josh's face and leaned in. He pecked the drummer's lips once, twice, then stilled his movements and kept his lips on Josh’s for a few seconds longer when their mouths met for the third time. And he could swear that a panic attack was building up inside of him when Josh didn't kiss him back. When Tyler pulled off, he bowed his head resting his forehead against Josh’s chest and one single tear silently rolled down his cheek. Josh put his hand on the back of Tyler's head and started to play with his dark hair. They stayed like that for a while.

„Do you mean this?” Josh broke the silence. „Because if you don’t… I don’t want to be your little experiment. I don’t want you to back off one day when you decide that it was a bad idea. It would break my heart.”

Tyler looked up and shook his head.

„I would never do that to you.”

„You had a gay awakening after reading a Tumblr post, Tyler. Maybe it’s just a heat of the moment thing?”

„Do you really think so low of me? Do you really think I found this post and thought: _yeah, let’s fuck with Josh’s feelings, it would be fun_? I cried myself to sleep for over a week because after I read it, I realized- It hit me like a speeding truck on a freaking highway, Josh.” Tyler’s eyes started glistening with tears again. „I realized how much of a hypocrite I was, judging you for being in love with me when I’ve been in love with you this whole time too but I refused to believe that.” He wiped his eyes. „I’m scared, Josh. I’m scared because it’s all so sudden and I’m not even gay but I know I have feelings for you, I know now, I’m sure. And they’re real, Josh. They’re real and you have to believe me that I love you even if our fans realized it long before me. And I’m sorry I’ve put you through hell and I’m sorry I was such a jerk, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-” Tyler sobbed loudly.

Josh lowered himself down to the floor, sat next to Tyler and put him close to his chest. He started rocking them slowly while his friend was holding onto him for dear life, burying his face in the crook of Josh’s neck and crying softly.

„It’s alright. We’re alright. Calm down.”

„Please? Please, believe me.” Tyler hiccuped.

„I believe you. Stop crying. Unless you want me to start crying too.”

When Tyler calmed down after a few minutes, he took a deep breath and looked up at Josh.

„Can I kiss you again?” He asked with a blush on his cheeks.

„Yes.” The drummer nodded with a smile.

„Will you kiss me back this time?”

„I will.”

„Promise?”

Josh didn’t answer. He simply leaned in and attached his lips to Tyler’s and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. 

 

Tyler never got back to his hotel room that night. And when they walked downstairs next morning holding hands, no one was surprised. And when Tyler dedicated _Can’t Help Falling in Love_ to Josh during their last show of the European tour, no one was surprised either.


End file.
